If I only had a......

Well Here I am, sitting at the St. Louis Bread Co. Pondering my next move.

I made this huge change in my life this past month moving to Alton, Il. I know that it's God but It's really taking it's tole on me. 

I've been getting up around noon everyday...I hate that. 

I've only been working like 25 hours a week. (not enough or what I owe)

And not really seeking out why? I'm here.

You know when you finally make a step in the right direction and then once your there, it does not seem like it was originally envisioned. That's where I am. I seem to just be thinking so much. I have a purpose. I have a calling. I have a goal for my life, To minister and do God's will but it's hard with all the pressures of the world around you. Now my pressure is money. I have all this stuff I owe (bills) and I go from a job that paid 10 an hour 40+ hours a week down to this 7.50 and not even 30 hours a week. I can not live off of that. But God is in Control. He always has been and always will be.

I really want to start speaking again. I sent out some emails to some churches around and so I'l see what happens. Also I am supposedto be going to Wapato to speak sometime this summer.. O how I wish it were soon. I miss speaking, I need to start writing down all the things that God has been doing in me and organizing them into sermons. 

Did you know that the hamberger patty was invented in the late 1800's but the thought of putting it on a Bun was not till around the 1900's. 

Way is it that we think that it just kinda happened. That someone sat down and put meat and bun and tomatoes and katchup together and that's how it has always been.

I'm really learning that God brings things together in HIS timing. Not ours. I might not be full completing and it might not even be YOU who does it all but it gets added to as the years go by. I german who made the Patty might not have even been around for the rest of the additions to it but it don't matter. It started with Him. 

This is only the begging of the story of my life. Alton is playing a supporting roll and back drop for this time a season but it won't end here.

I just need to find out why it's here...I know it is but not sure where and why.

The day has come

Well, The day has come....Kinda sad, kinda excited. 

I'm beginning to miss my family here already. The last few months (9 months to be exact) have been so incredible. I love my family even more than i did..

You know that you have to love family to some extent cuz they are blood but after you see them, live with them and see who they are for more than just a week vacation during the summer, you love them even more.

Kathy, Rick and Tara have been so incredible. I love them more then they could ever know. I know their friends, they are my friends now. I have lived with them and laughed with them. 

Being able to go to church with my grandma has been one of the greatest things of my life. She has a special place in my heart.

I know that all of my family out here will be here for a long time but Leaving them means so much more.

Grand junction (palisade) has become a home. It is an incredible place for me. 

God is so good, He moves in ways that I can not see. My aunt has given me some incredible advise the last months. She is so strong. God moved me here for a reason. At the time I had no idea what that was. Now I know. It was for my family. It was to be able to call them family and love them more then family. 

Leaving tomorrow means a brand new start. Leaving old things and creating new memories and times with God. 

I'm loving more then i ever have before , I'm learning more then ever before and Loving God in new ways. 

I take my whole life here with me. Leave the things that need to be left and take the things  that I have learned to my new home.

I"LL BE BACK!!!

I'm on it likfe blue bonnet

So I know that I have really slacked on the whole Blog thing. and I know that there are a lot of people that I don't get time to talk to that learn about my life through this.

So. here is a really good recap of the last like 4 weeks.

I was going to quit and the Holiday Inn and move to the Marriott back in April, so I put in my 2 weeks and told everyone I was moving hotels but then I had a Conversation with my friend Rachel and she asked me if I had considered going to Alton, Il where my best friend Caleb was and working at his church some and stuff.
So I started thinking about it and knew inside of me that it was right.
So instead of Rachel moving up here and us getting a place together, (which was so hard finding a place out here in Grand junction) we though, "what if we just moved to Alton and got an Apt.

So we talked to Caleb, I told the Marriott that I was not leaving and asked if they could find me a job out there.

I starterd looking a Apt's in and around Alton and was finding some stuff but not much. THEN, I went to craigslist.com and was looking at apts in St. Louis (not Alton) and came across a house for rent IN Alton (not St. Louis) 900 a month for a 3 bedroom 2 bath.

I text Caleb and he looked it up and by the end of the week, it was ours!!!

So as it stands, rachel will be here this friday, ANd on the 5th of June, we are on the way to ALTON!!!!

I'll start my new job the next week.

GOD IS SO GOOD> it's amazing what he puts in place when you willing to move (in move ways than one)

It needs to be done. He's my brother

So yesterday I had a guest at the hotel tell me that I should be in the Military... HA HA HA. I know that it's not for me. But there is someone in my life that I look up to a whole lot. My brother. He will always be a US MARINE and to me, he has saved my life. He keeps me free. Just was feeling very appreciated. We don't have to wait till Memorial day or Veterans day or some holiday to thank someone you know that served our country. 

Well sleep well, and while we sleep in our nice beds and feel like we slave away at our jobs.  There are men and women all over the world making sure we can live.

Its been a long time..

Hey all, I know that it has been a while since I wrote anything but I'v been workin like 60 hours a week. And tonight I am way tired. I got a lot built up inside me so I'll be back soon

Transitions PEOPLE Transitions are GOOD

One thing that I realized last night that people don't ever talk about is the transition time between the big stuff.

I was having a conversation last night with a friend and I began to realize that 

GOD LOVES TRANSITIONS.

I have heard many times people use the verse "going  from glory to glory" and that is great. But I think that people get into this routine that "glory" means BIG, HUGE LIFE CHANGE. I think that is a huge error.

We love thinking that we know what is going on and that we have control of our lives. 

I want everyone who reads this blog to do something for me right now.

STOP READING AND THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WANNA BE IN 5 YEARS.

I know that people ask that question alot and if we think about it. How does it usually sound.

FINANCIAL SECURITY, FAMILY, GOOD JOB, NICE HOUSE, LIVING MY DREAM. 

It is not a question that only applies to kids and teens. It is something that we all think about. 

But rarely will you hear someone answer that question like this.

I want a 6 month period where I don't have a job. I want to know what what is going on in my life. I want to get into a huge fight with my wife and agree to not agree. 

I doubt it. 

Because we don't like transitions. We don't. 

WHY?

Because we want to get right into the next thing. We want to have no down time. We hate sitting around.

But I think that God loves the transitions of our lives because it makes us sweat a little. We hate down time. Some people say the love it but You know they dont. U think that you don't get anything accomplished with down time.

Lets use the example of a Broadway show. 

If you were watching a great show, paid lots of money to sit where your sitting . and after every scene, they stopped. Dead silence. and right into the next thing. No music, no dropping of the curtain. U just watched everything stop. I would hate to go from a hugely emotional scene where everyone dies but 2 people and then 2 seconds late be in a huge festival all loud and everything.

No one wants that. 

God Gives us transitions for a reason. To get us to slow down. To take some time to get ourselves together. Pay off bills, work. 

Cherish the transitions in Life. Just make sure you get something out of it and dont just get by waiting for the next 

GLORY

This one comes with a warning.... don't get hurt

If you are someone who reads this and think that it pertains to you then ok. But I'm just venting. This makes me feel better. So don't get hurt. Don't call me up and ask me y I wrote this. 

NOthing that I write means anything but what I am feeling at this exact moment. RIGHT NOW.

Tonight I am tressed. A little mad (at myself) and agitated. 

Y do I feel like I don't know what I am doing. No to be more honest. Why do I feel like the people around me don't think I know what I am Doing.

I struggle. With many things. But one thing I know and have made a point in my life is not running off of emotions. 

I pray against that fact that SO many people run off their emotions and get themselves in trouble. 

I just wanna run. Runaway. Run to a town where I know someone and just love God. Y can't I just love God and not get all chastized for it. 

Y? I don't get it

I know that I suck with money. I know that I could have stuff saved away for things I want but still be able to pay my bills. I know

I hate when people question me. NOt just me But question what God says to me. 

        REMEMBER DON'T GET UPSET

I just wanna cry and get it over with. I wann go to South Africa and just love God and love people.

Y do people gotta make that so Freakin complicated. 

I don't get it. 

Someone Tell me Y?

I wanna same and move and  get my own place and love God and pour into people and Live my calling. 

I never wanted a life of safety. BEING SAFE ALL THE TIME SUCKS!

I want to dare to love God and see what Happens. I wanna love him with everything and see what he DOES.

I don't care. I love the people around me but I hate what they say sometimes,

PRAISE JAHOVA that I can still love him.