TO HELL WITH SATAN

I'm going to make this short and sweet. 

I HATE THE DEVIL....

I don't think that I have ever or will ever hate anything as much as I hate him.

I know that this might seem like a common thing. Most Christians are supposed to hate the devil. But if we are then why do we let him in so much?

I'm the first to admit that I have let him into my thoughts WAY to much. But I also know that I dont like people in my house if I hate them.... I mean seriously. 

Y is it that Sometime I feel like there is an open door for him,

I hate him. he has stolen too much of my time, money and effort....I HATE IT.. I hate him....

No more will he have my nights...my days and my GOD...no more will he inhabit my mind,,,,, I put up an eviction notice in my life for him. 

God protect me from satan and his lies..... USE me tonight as I sleep God. Inhabit my dreams..... 

They Say Honesty is the best policy!

So it's 1:10 am on Friday and I can't sleep. I have to be at work at 6. 

I should be sleeping right now but I can't. Something is keeping me up... and that something is ME.

They say that honesty is the best policy and I totally believe that but when it comes to honesty the saying "it is better to give then to receive" does not apply. 

I am a very bold person. And I have plenty of people in my life that will tell me that they either admire that in me or they hate it. But the one person that I can never be honest and bold with is me.

I m going to use this blog to be honest. It is strange that someone might read this and see what i am going to write and that does to things for me. It scares me and is drives me. I know that I can not sleep tonight (this morning) without doing this.

Here goes......

I have a problem.... 

It might now be huge.

It might not me small.

But still it's a problem.

I lie to myself. 

There I said/typed it.

I lie to myself so much that it is becoming a huge and bigger problem.

I know that I am freed by the blood of the lamb. And whom the son sets free is truly free indeed. 

But I try so hard to hide and lie. 

I miss so much to be around good solid christians. My family is my support right now. My aunt and uncle and cousins and family are who i see day in and day out and it has been such a huge blessing. But I miss it.

I want to hard to make people and myself see that I am OK... That I have a good job and that all is well.

But I am not as well as i Think.

My love for God is really trying to be ripped away from my by LAZINESS. I hate that I go up into my room and sit and watch the crap that is on tv. I hate that I only am at church one day a week. Just like all the other "christians" out there. 

I need more. 

I am reaching the point that If something does not change. I WILL. and I don't wanna. God has done to much in my life and dealt with me on too many issues for me to just stop. I DON"T want to. 

I hate that I feel alone. The besides my family. my closest friends are only on the phone. No coffee talks, no driving and talking. Nothing. I hate it. 

God please pull me out of this. I know that you are there

I know that you are bringing me through a old season and into a new one. But I need more. I need more of you. I feel like the laziness of my life is consuming my love for you and I can't stand that feeling. I wanna be growing. But I don't think that I am. I need you now, in a new way. 

Lord guide me, direct me. Lead me to the place where I can feel your spirit and your love greater then before. 

Control my mind and my thoughts. I hate that I have gotten lazier and lazier on my thinking. Forgive me. 

Give me rest. Calm my Spirit and my mind. Forgive me for I am a sinner saved by your call and your tender loving mercy. 

I commit all I am to serving you in all that I do. 

Amen.

Peace all.   

Let's Talk about Seasons!

Remember back to School and it getting close to the end of the year and waiting that last day for school to be out for Summer break. We were so excited, all the time in the world to enjoy our friends, vacations and the nice weather.

But "all good things must come to an end" as they say. And that summer that you were so excited to start is over. You don't want it to happen. You were just starting to get used to going to bed at 3am and waking up at noon. That's how some seasons come and go. Some, we are so ready to see them go. Others we just can't admit to ourselves that they are gone. 

But the seasons that are far harder to adjust to are not the school/summer seasons or the winter spring summer fall seasons. It's the life seasons, the ones that change your future.

I had a season that lasted 4 years while I was @ MCUSA. It was the greatest thing that I had ever done (going to Africa comes close) God changed my life and grew me into a better Man of God. 

But after something like that, it was like the beginning of school starting. I was so comfortable with what God was doing  in my life that when the season ended, I had wished that it had not. And it's like the train stopped at the wrong place and at the time, it felt like the conductor was in control and not me. That he made me get off at the wrong stop. Who knew that the conductor knew that I would far more enjoy this stop then the one I was "heading" to.

 "I will never leave you nor forsake you" 

"all things work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to his will" 

Just remember that even though seasons come and go, and it might be hard. That Gods the ones that created those seasons to begin with and who are we to change that. 

But I do think that from time to time you need to question why God did that. You know it's for your benefit and that everything he does is for a purpose but I think that God wants us to be able to ask him Y? because he know that we believe he is in control and that he will answer.

My new life begins

Ok. So I thought that it would be a good idea to let my friends and family know whats been going on in my life the last few months. Some people are very against myspace so here is a way you can check back and see how things are going.

Well back in the beginning of Sept. After getting back from a great summer Ministry trip, I along with Caleb and a few others were given the news that we would not be coming back to Master's Commission USA this coming up year.

I must admit that I was not shocked. 

I know that master's was a huge part of my life for 4 years but for some reason that whole past summer i had this overwhelming feeling that this was it. That God was going to move me on to something else. But to be honest, you know that feeling you get when God tells you something but your comfortable where you are and you really don't wanna move on. That is where i was at. I had this comfort level in my life from 4 years of Knowing what I was doing that for the first time I had no clue where "next" was and I really was a strange feeling.

But God has everything in my life at His disposal and who am I to tell him what I need to be doing with it. 

I never would have thought that when i filled out my 1st year application (on paper, not online) that I would spend the last 4 years there. God used me and grew me and shaped me in so many incredible ways that i still am blown away by what he did. 

The leaders and family that he put in my life where and are like none other. People that made themselves so available to my growth that I would not be where I am if it were not for them. 

Well that's it for now.... I'll write here everyday and fill in more of the story.